Jokes

A girl comes to a gynecologist. She undresses and sits down with legs wide
apart. Doctor:
-    Up!
The girl lift her legs up.
-    Up!
The girl lifts her legs even higher.
-    Up!!! – shouts doc.
Girl: - Doc, I can’t lift them higher.
Doc: - The office of gynecologist is up on the Second Floro. It‘s the barber shop here.

Monica is at the dentist. Half of her mouth is locked due to anesthesia, the dentist is intensively working. Monica's mobile phone starts ringing. Ignoring it four times, the dentist finally answers the phone pissed:
- What’s up?
- What’s up?, - some man asks.
Dentist:
- Who are you?
- I’m Monica’s husband
Dentist:
- Listen, man, I’m about to finish, she will spit it out and will call you back!!!

My brother was so mean when I was a child. He used to glue the pages of his porn magazines together so I couldn't look at them.

In a sex toys store a guy asks for an inflatable doll. The seller:
- Would you like a regular one, or the one with artificial intellect?
- With artificial intellect, please.
The next day the same guy returns and asks:
- Please change it to a regular one…
- Why?
- She didn't give it to me.

A kid asks his father:
- Daddy, why do dogs keep licking their crotch?
- The reason is, my dear son, that dogs cannot make a paw into a fist.

A hedgehog was walking through the bushes, crashed to the wall... and drowned.

Why the hell do I need a fridge if I don't smoke?

Five guys were walking down the street and met the eighth one.

Two wolves go for a walk. One of them asks: let me walk in the middle.

Your mom is so fat: when she sat on a rainbow it started raining Skittles.